a letter for jeena

han mimpi pergi suatu tempat yang mungkin tiada di malaysia ni.. berada di suatu padang rumput berbukit yang panjang macam lalang namun lembut rumputnya. keadaan yang sangat senja. berwarna oren langitnya. han dan kawan-kawan yang han dapat ingat ada bersama adalah, aminul, ameerah, kak anirah dan beberapa orang lagi di padang rumput tersebut. we went to the grass field everyday for about two to three days for fieldwork, we were bouncing and rolling on the soft grass.and i had drew the landscape scenery into a portrait: with the orange sky and the long green and purple grass with colour pencils. dari padang rumput tersebut, akan melalui sebuah tower bertangga untuk ke kawasan rehat/ facilities. antara padang rumput dan pintu tower tersebut, kami perlu melalui sebuah stream dan kolam berbatu yang airnya berwarna biru, di mana kami perlu melompat ke dalam kolam kecil itu untuk memanjat ke arah pintu tower yang berada di atasnya. :)  holiday yang sangat menggembirakan! dan apabila berada di tempat rehat itu, rupa-rupanya han ada kawan-kawan rapat han kat situ. mereka tinggal di situ bersama-sama.

suddenly i discover that the house owner was a japanese or the house was in japan. i saw a japanese advance phrasebook lying on the floor so i thought, oh that's why jeena always reading dictionary and japanese phrasebook because she wanted to live here. i put the book on the table.

there are also a lot of not so important events in the dream and things that i dare not tell you here.. well whatever wrote above are the only things that i want to remember..

oh how i missed that old times. there were "selebets": deqna, fie, azma and our long lost friend, jeena :'). jeena i miss u so much! where are you now? i want to meet you badly.... :'( apa salah kami, tolonglah maafkan. i don't know what have been wrong with us, all i know that we were just too attached to each other and actually acted similarly and have same steel heart. it has been 8 years............. azma dah engaged (i can't manage to attend her engagement day), deqna is struggling with her work and financial problems; she can't even find a descent place to live in, she has to move in with dira into a small room (actually in that dream, i thought deqna and dira has moving in to jeena's place, it's a relief but it's a just a dream). fie pun, struggling jugak to finish her thesis, i really hoped that she will finish everything by this year. i want her to move out of that UIA campus, get away from those lousy, hateful lecturers.. sedihnya.. and i'm hating myself for not being a help for any of you... i really want us to reunite.. <3 <3 <3

i don't know what had happened to you. have you been married? do you have any children now? where is your workplace? do you still go back to your house in gong kapas? gosh.. this is very.. i can't stop my tears from pouring down.. i miss you my girls..


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