Sunday, July 25, 2010
face the reality
i know that i always pamper myself unnecessarily; especially for letting myself relax and not doing anything to improve myself or simply doing work for my coming presentation. all i know is thought that i don't know how to do it, so, just.. "okay, let it be" and continue sleeping on the uncomfortable chair in my studio. i wonder since when i'm like this and never change, even though I've seen so many pictures which taught me courage, determination, diligence and all good sorts of thing. right now, my mind is attached to my mother and home. i wanted to make her happy with my achievement; which i think she'd lost that 'happiness' for about 9 years. i want to make her happy just because of my graduation, which has been procrastinated for 2 years now. give me strength. i know that i'm strong, LA is not my cup of coffee, but i just have a semester to go through. hope that i can do everything right, diligently. God, help me go through this without fuss, without wavering about do it, or stop doing it. keep me moving, moving, moving. really want to do good like everybody else.. but.. err, okay, no 'but'. please, please, please. let me sleep when I've done all my work.